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| I had an opportunity to show some people grace today, but by the time I realized it, the opportunity was gone.
I was first in a medium-sized line at the bus stop when two young women with strollers rolled up and, with an abrupt (even rude) "strollers go first," cut in front of me. I was taken aback at first, and somewhat offended. I would have let them in front if they'd asked, but they hadn't said "excuse me" or even look at me. They just acted as if the line didn't exist at all. I didn't say anything, though, because I fell into the trap of stereotyping and figured from their appearance (okay, and ethnicity) that they were probably "just brought up that way." Stereotyping them was my bad, but it gave me a reason to fight against my first instinct of simply disliking them. Eventually, the bus pulled up and they got on. The bus driver asked them where they were going, and that's when all the trouble started.
I missed where they said they were going, but it was somewhere in Vancouver, so they would have to pay for 2 zones. The bus driver informed them of this, and the women got upset. They apparently didn't have the money, so they started arguing with the bus driver, who simply warned that he would call security once we crossed Boundary Road, and have them fined if they didn't comply.
"But we have our kids with us!!"
"What are you going to do, kick us off the bus??"
"It doesn't matter if you have kids. You are going to Vancouver, so you have to pay for 2 zones! If you don't, I'll call security and you'll get fined."
The women retorted that they didn't care if the bus driver called security, and settled into the stroller/wheelchair area, but it was obvious that the prospect of getting fined was not very appealing to them. In the meantime, the bus was filling up with passengers, all of whom were listening to this exchange. One of the women asked why the bus driver wasn't asking the rest of us where we were going, and he replied that we all had paid for 2 zones. I don't know if this was the truth or not, but the mom was skeptical. I'm not sure what happened next, but maybe they caught the bus driver actually calling the transit police, and they started arguing loudly again. Both moms were swearing profusely, and the bus driver was warning them to watch their language. One passenger tried to calm them down, saying something about not getting too worked up over it. I think the other passenger might have been elderly, but I couldn't see her. That quieted them down for maybe a second or two.
At this point, I realized that Jesus would probably want me to offer them money for the 2 zone fare. I hesitated for a second before unzipping my pocket to get my wallet. But even while I got my wallet out, they began yelling that they didn't want to ride on the ****'in bus anyway, and demanded to be let off the ****'in bus. [The doors had already closed] The driver was already on the phone with his supervisor, and simply said into the phone, "can you hear that?" which of course got the women even more irate. Eventually he let them off the bus, and the transit supervisor came and talked to both parties. Our bus left while the supervisor was still talking with the women.
Thinking about this incident later, I realized that I could probably have offered to pay for their fare when they first realized they would have to pay for 2 zones. Unfortunately, I think I was still miffed that they had budged without asking, and so the thought didn't even cross my mind. Part of me even thought that it was almost like a bit of God's judgment. (The Lord will avenge, right?) As a result, the idea of paying for them didn't come until it was too late. Honestly, I don't feel too bad about it... but I do wonder if I missed out on an opportunity to show God's love to someone because I was so focused on myself. Hm. And now that I'm thinking about it more, I guess I'm starting to feel a bit of regret that I didn't offer to pay for their fare earlier.
Hm...hopefully lesson's learned?
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| I've been playing this song over and over again since I got home from school today. Goodbye Janine. "You know I'll always love you." "And when I said I loved you, you know I meant for good." The song also says "we've reached the end," but for us, it's only a temporary end. See you in Heaven.
Goodbye - Audio Adrenaline
You'll be fine tomorrow
The sun will rise again
It's never easy to say goodbye
You know I'll always love you
You know I always will
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
My old friend (my old friend)
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
We've reached the end (we've reached the end)
I don't cry for sorrow, I cry with joy
The memories we've made can't be destroyed
You know I won't forget you
You know I never could
And when I said I loved you
You know I meant for good
You know I'll always love you
Goodbye. | | |
| I only just found out tonight. If I'd read the paper on Monday like I usually do, instead of going straight to my homework, perhaps I would have found out earlier.
It's hard to believe. Janine was special, one of the most passionate people I know, yet also one of the most soft-spoken at times. We didn't get to spend much time together, but we would catch up over the phone. She was the first person I really talked to on the phone for long periods of time. Whenever we saw each other randomly on the bus, she'd greet me with a surprised, "Christina!" and a grin. And without fail, before she got off the bus, she'd ask if I had any prayer requests. She would forward me emails about prayer and would invite me to Mass. If there's one thing that stands out about Janine to me, it's that she loved God and was always eager to know Him more. She took her faith seriously and really encouraged and inspired me that way.
I wish we'd kept in better touch. I didn't realize we'd have to wait until Heaven to speak again. I was looking through my old emails and found this one from her that I thought I had deleted. I'm glad I didn't delete it. I edited some of it...but most of it is intact.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a
need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a
difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you
physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend
and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then,
without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this
person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up
and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need
has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or
make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They
usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is
real. But only for a season.!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is
to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to
use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that
love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
....
GOD is too wise to be mistaken...
GOD is too good to be unkind...
So when you don't understand. When you don't see HIS plan...when you can't
trace HIS hand...
HAVE FAITH AND TRUST HIS HEART
Lord, thank You for bringing Janine into my life for a reason and a short season. She was a real blessing, not just to me, but to many others as well. Tell Janine I miss her, okay? And tell her I look forward to seeing her later. 
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| I have a confession to make:
I have been addicted to Pac-Man on the UVic C4C "Fun and Games" page for the last month or so.
Thankfully, I've found that I am no longer satisfied with playing computer games for hours on end. It's like I had forgotten the greater fulfillment in investing time in people, and now that I've rediscovered it, I don't want to go back to mindless, interaction-less "entertainment." At least, not for extended periods of time.
It helps that my sister and I recently switched cell phone plans and now have unlimited evenings and weekends (for less than what we were paying for before!). I think I've talked more on the phone in the last few days than I have in the 2 weeks prior. I'd rather be talking to a friend 'til 2am than playing PacMan 'til 2. or 3. I don't think I went so far as to play 'till 4.
The only problem is what to do with my time when I have nothing to do (the newspaper has been read and the crosswords completed), and everyone else is either studying or working. I figure I'll catch up on my emailing, or maybe read/re-read a book. In fact, I think I'll do that now.
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| What I want to do: play my guitar.
What I need to do: work on my Funfest costume for Oct. 31, and prepare my Awana lesson for Nov. 3rd.
What I end up doing: watching TV. for over 2.5 hours. for two (maybe three?) nights in a row. This is too much. I think I've watched more TV this week than I have the entire month before. Yikes. I don't want to get re-addicted to TV. It's not even like I'm watching anything particularly good; I just want to veg. But I don't really want to veg. I want to play guitar. Or work on my costume. I don't really want to prepare my lesson, but I have to do that. It's just that vegging out is so much easier. Ai yah.
I've realized that I've been wasting a lot of time lately. It's too bad, really. That time could have been so much better spent doing other things. Gah. And then I find that if I'm not watching TV, I'm on the computer. Again. Maybe I should set limits for myself even though I don't have school this term...
In other news, though, my dad is addicted to Facebook. He admitted it himself. 
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